PETALUMA, Calif. — Some have lost loved ones. Many have survived near-death experiences. Others have lost their homes and a lifetime of possessions.
A week after fleeing raging wildfires, tens of thousands of emotionally ravaged Californians have drifted back home to find their lives and their communities dramatically altered.
At a Red Cross shelter in Petaluma on Tuesday, 69-year-old Sue Wortman recalled the words that raced through her mind when she fled the flames near her home in Sonoma.
“We’re all going up in smoke,” she thought at the time. Since then, she’s been walking around in a daze.
Firefighters gained more control Tuesday of the massive wine country wildfires, even as other blazes erupted in mountains near Los Angeles and Santa Cruz.
Meanwhile, officials and trauma experts worried about the emotional toll taken by the grueling week of blazes.
Wortman has been living in her RV outside the Petaluma shelter, while hundreds of other evacuees sought refuge in tents and trailers and on cots inside the fairground facility. She has sought comfort among friends and with her dogs but knows that feeling won’t last.
“I think it’s really going to hit when we go home and see the destruction,” she said.
Josh Edelson, AFP/Getty Images
Homeowner Martha Marquez looks over her burned home in Santa Rosa, California on Oct. 10, 2017.
Firefighters encouraged by weakening winds were battling 17 large wildfires on Tuesday in California which have left at least 13 people dead, thousands homeless and ravaged the state's famed wine country.
Elijah Nouvelage, AFP/Getty Images
Fire damage is seen from the air in the Coffey Park neighborhood on Oct. 11, 2017, in Santa Rosa, California
More than 200 fire engines and firefighting crews from around the country were being rushed to California on Wednesday to help battle infernos which have left at least 21 people dead and thousands homeless.
Robyn Beck, AFP/Getty Images
Ben Pederson find's a school yearbook in the remains of his bedroom after his family's home was destroyed by wildfire in Santa Rosa, California, Oct. 11, 2017.
The death toll from some of California's worst ever wildfires rose to 17 as thousands of firefighters battled to bring the infernos under control. The fires which have devastated California's wine country are already among the deadliest ever in the western US state and officials warned they expect the toll to go up.
Elijah Nouvelage, AFP/Getty Images
Fire damage is seen from the air in the Coffey Park neighborhood Oct. 11, 2017, in Santa Rosa, California
More than 200 fire engines and firefighting crews from around the country were being rushed to California on Wednesday to help battle infernos which have left at least 21 people dead and thousands homeless.
Justin Sullivan, Getty Images
An aerial view of homes that were destroyed by the Tubbs Fire on Oct. 11, 2017 in Santa Rosa, California. Twenty one people have died in wildfires that have burned tens of thousands of acres and destroyed over 3,000 homes and businesses in several Northen California counties.
Colby Clark of San Francisco, left, comforts her mother, Bonnie Trexler, after being escorted by law enforcement to her home in Silverado Highland to retrieve medicine and some personal items on Wednesday, Oct., 11, 2017 in Napa, Calif. Trexler was one of the lucky few who found that her home was spared from the devastating fire which burned homes around her Monday.
Justin Sullivan, Getty Images
A view of mobile homes at the Journey's End Mobile Home Park that were destroyed by the Tubbs Fire on Oct. 11, 2017 in Santa Rosa, California. At least 21 people have died in wildfires that have burned tens of thousands of acres and destroyed over 3,000 homes and businesses in several Northen California counties.
In this Tuesday, Oct. 10, 2017, photo, fire consumes two cars but spares a home on Keiser Road southwest of Kenwood, Calif.
Justin Sullivan, Getty Images
Charred wine barrells sit on racks at Paradise Ridge Winery after being destroyed by the Tubbs Fire on Oct. 11, 2017 in Santa Rosa, California. Twenty one people have died in wildfires that have burned tens of thousands of acres and destroyed over 3,000 homes and businesses in several Northen California counties.
Elijah Nouvelage, AFP/Getty Images
Fire damage is seen from the air in the Coffey Park neighborhood on Oct. 11, 2017, in Santa Rosa, California
More than 200 fire engines and firefighting crews from around the country were being rushed to California on Wednesday to help battle infernos which have left at least 21 people dead and thousands homeless.
Josh Edelson, AFP/Getty Images
Property owner Chris Schrobilgen stands in his neighbor's burned grape vineyard in Calistoga, California on Oct. 11, 2017.
More than 200 fire engines and firefighting crews from around the country were being rushed to California on Wednesday to help battle infernos which have left at least 21 people dead and thousands homeless.
Justin Sullivan, Getty Images
Charred wine barrells sit on racks at Paradise Ridge Winery after being destroyed by the Tubbs Fire on Oct. 11, 2017 in Santa Rosa, California. Twenty one people have died in wildfires that have burned tens of thousands of acres and destroyed over 3,000 homes and businesses in several Northen California counties.
Ezra Shaw, Getty Images
Wine grapes are destroyed by the Tubbs Fire on Oct. 11, 2017 in Napa, California. In one of the worst wildfires in state history, more than 2,000 homes have burned and at least 17 people have been killed as more than 14 wildfires continue to spread with little containment in eight Northern California counties.
Justin Sullivan, Getty Images
An aerial view of a K-Mart store that was destroyed by the Tubbs Fire on Oct. 11, 2017 in Santa Rosa, California. At least 21 people have died in wildfires that have burned tens of thousands of acres and destroyed over 3,000 homes and businesses in several Northen California counties.
Hector Amezcua, The Sacramento Bee via The Associated Press
Mark Haley, carries his daughter Fiona, 5, as he attends a community meeting with fire officials at Browns Valley Elementary School community in Napa, Calif., on Wednesday, Oct. 11, 2017.
Justin Sullivan, Getty Images
An aerial view of homes that were destroyed by the Tubbs Fire on Oct. 11, 2017 in Santa Rosa, California. Twenty one people have died in wildfires that have burned tens of thousands of acres and destroyed over 3,000 homes and businesses in several Northen California counties.
Justin Sullivan, Getty Images
An aerial view of homes that were destroyed by the Tubbs Fire on Oct. 11, 2017 in Santa Rosa, California. At least 21 people have died in wildfires that have burned tens of thousands of acres and destroyed over 3,000 homes and businesses in several Northen California counties.
Justin Sullivan, Getty Images
Firefighters inspect an Arby's restaurant that was destroyed by the Tubbs Fire on Oct. 11, 2017 in Santa Rosa, California. At least 21 people have died in wildfires that have burned tens of thousands of acres and destroyed over 3,000 homes and businesses in several Northen California counties.
David McNew, Getty Images
A vineyard on Napa's Silverado Trail is seen next to land blackened the Atlas Fire on Oct. 11, 2017 near Napa, California. In one of the worst wildfires in state history, more than 2,000 homes have burned and at least 21 people were killed as more than 14 wildfires continue to spread with little containment in eight Northern California counties.
Justin Sullivan, Getty Images
A view of hundreds of homes in the Coffey Park neighborhood that were destroyed by the Tubbs Fire on Oct. 11, 2017 in Santa Rosa, California. At least 21 people have died in wildfires that have burned tens of thousands of acres and destroyed over 3,000 homes and businesses in several Northen California counties.
Justin Sullivan, Getty Images
A view of hundreds of homes in the Coffey Park neighborhood that were destroyed by the Tubbs Fire on Oct. 11, 2017 in Santa Rosa, California. At least 21 people have died in wildfires that have burned tens of thousands of acres and destroyed over 3,000 homes and businesses in several Northen California counties.
Robyn Beck, AFP/Getty Images
Homeowner Phil Rush looks at the remains of his home destroyed by wildfire in Santa Rosa, California, on Oct. 11, 2017.
Rush said he and his wife and dog escaped with only their medication, a bag of dog food when flames overtook their entire neighborhood on October 9. The toll from Northern California's ranging wildfires continued to grow as officials said the fires destroyed up to 2,000 structures and killed at least 17 people.
David McNew, Getty Images
The sun shines behind a smoky sky and scorched trees at the family-owned winery, Signorello Estate, on Napa's Silverado Trail, which was destroyed by the Atlas Fire, on Oct. 11, 2017 near Napa, California. In one of the worst wildfires in state history, more than 2,000 homes have burned and at least 17 people have been killed as more than 14 wildfires continue to spread with little containment in eight Northern California counties.
Elijah Nouvelage, AFP/Getty Images
Fire damage is seen from the air in the Coffey Park neighborhood Oct. 11, 2017, in Santa Rosa, California
More than 200 fire engines and firefighting crews from around the country were being rushed to California on Wednesday to help battle infernos which have left at least 21 people dead and thousands homeless.
Robyn Beck, AFP/Getty Images
A U.S. flag hangs on a tree in the wildfire ravaged Coffey Park neighborhood of Santa Rosa, California, Oct. 11, 2017.
The death toll from some of California's worst ever wildfires rose to 17 as thousands of firefighters battled to bring the infernos under control. The fires which have devastated California's wine country are already among the deadliest ever in the western US state and officials warned they expect the toll to go up.
Jeff Chiu, The Associated Press
A law enforcement officer blocks a road as flames from a wildfire burn in a residential area in Santa Rosa, Calif., Monday, Oct. 9, 2017.
Josh Edelson, AFP/Getty Images
A truck burns as fire ravages the Napa wine region in California on Oct. 9, 2017, as multiple wind-driven fires continue to whip through the region.
Justin Sullivan, Getty Images
A resident rushes to save his home as an out of control wildfire moves through the area on Oct. 9, 2017 in Glen Ellen, California. Tens of thousands of acres and dozens of homes and businesses have burned in widespread wildfires that are burning in Napa and Sonoma counties.
Justin Sullivan, Getty Images
Fire consumes a home as an out of control wildfire moves through the area on Oct. 9, 2017 in Glen Ellen, California. Tens of thousands of acres and dozens of homes and businesses have burned in a widespread wildfire that is burning in Napa and Sonoma counties.
Josh Edelson, AFP/Getty Images
Flames overtake a structure as nearby homes burn in theNapa wine region in California on October 9, 2017, as multiple wind-driven fires continue to whip through the region. / AFP PHOTO / JOSH EDELSONJOSH EDELSON/AFP/Getty Images
Justin Sullivan, Getty Images
The remains of fire damaged homes after an out of control wildfire moved through the area on Oct. 9, 2017 in Glen Ellen, California. Tens of thousands of acres and dozens of homes and businesses have burned in a widespread wildfire that is burning in Napa and Sonoma counties.
Justin Sullivan, Getty Images
GLEN ELLEN, CA - OCTOBER 09: Fire consumes a home as out of control wildfires move through the area on October 9, 2017 in Glen Ellen, California. Tens of thousands of acres and dozens of homes and businesses have burned in a widespread wildfire that is burning in Napa and Sonoma counties. (Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)
Josh Edelson, AFP/Getty Images
A firefighter pulls a hose in front of a burning house in the Napa wine region of California on Oct. 9, 2017, as multiple wind-driven fires continue to whip through the region.
Justin Sullivan, Getty Images
Fire consumes a home as an out of control wildfire moves through the area on Oct. 9, 2017 in Glen Ellen, California. Tens of thousands of acres and dozens of homes and businesses have burned in widespread wildfires that are burning in Napa and Sonoma counties.
Justin Sullivan, Getty Images
Fire consumes a barn as an out of control wildfire moves through the area on Oct. 9, 2017 in Glen Ellen, California. Tens of thousands of acres and dozens of homes and businesses have burned in widespread wildfires that are burning in Napa and Sonoma counties.
Justin Sullivan, Getty Images
The remains of fire damaged homes after an out of control wildfire moved through the area on Oct. 9, 2017 in Glen Ellen, California. Tens of thousands of acres and dozens of homes and businesses have burned in widespread wildfires that are burning in Napa and Sonoma counties.
Justin Sullivan, Getty Images
A resident rushes to save his home as an out of control wildfire moves through the area on Oct. 9, 2017 in Glen Ellen, California. Tens of thousands of acres and dozens of homes and businesses have burned in widespread wildfires that are burning in Napa and Sonoma counties.
Rich Pedroncelli, The Associated Press
Flames from a wildfire consume a a three car garage at a home Monday, Oct. 9, 2017, east of Napa, Calif. Wildfires whipped by powerful winds swept through Northern California early Monday, sending residents on a headlong flight to safety through smoke and flames as homes burned. (AP Photo/Rich Pedroncelli)
Josh Edelson, AFP/Getty Images
The Signorello Estate winery burns in the Napa wine region in California on Oct. 9, 2017, as multiple wind-driven fires continue to whip through the region.
Justin Sullivan, Getty Images
A resident rushes to save his home as an out of control wildfire moves through the area on Oct. 9, 2017 in Glen Ellen, California. Tens of thousands of acres and dozens of homes and businesses have burned in widespread wildfires that are burning in Napa and Sonoma counties.
Josh Edelson, AFP/Getty Images
Flames ravage a home in the Napa wine region in California on Oct. 9, 2017, as multiple wind-driven fires continue to whip through the region.
Josh Edelson, AFP/Getty Images
Fire glows on a hillside in Napa, California on Oct. 9, 2017, as multiple wind-driven fires continue to whip through the region.
Josh Edelson, AFP/Getty Images
A tent structure built for the 2017 Safeway Open burns on a golf course at the Silverado Resort and Spa in Napa, California on Oct. 9, 2017, as multiple wind-driven fires continue to whip through the region.
Josh Edelson, AFP/Getty Images file
Firefighters assess the scene as a house burns in the Napa wine region of California on Oct. 9, 2017.
Rich Pedroncelli, The Associated Press
Flames from a wildfire burn Monday, Oct. 9, 2017, in Napa, Calif. The fire is one of several burning across Northern California's wine country.
Ben Margot, The Associated Press
Fire burns a Hilton hotel on Monday, Oct. 9, 2017, in Santa Rosa, Calif. Wildfires whipped by powerful winds swept through Northern California, sending residents on a headlong flight to safety through smoke and flames as homes burned.
Josh Edelson, AFP/Getty Images
Resident Louis Reavis views his burned classic Corvette at his home in Napa, California on Oct. 9, 2017, as multiple wind-driven fires continue to whip through the region.
Rich Pedroncelli, The Associated Press
Rivers of melted metal flow from a vehicle parked at a home, Tuesday, Oct. 10, 2017, that was destroyed by a wildfire near Napa, Calif. Wildfires whipped by powerful winds swept through California wine country sending thousands fleeing as flames raged unchecked through high-end resorts, grocery stores and tree-lined neighborhoods.
This combination of photos shows the Coffey Park neighborhood of Santa Rosa, Calif. The bottom image taken Monday, Oct. 9, 2017, and provided by the California Highway Patrol Golden Gate Division, shows the damage after a wildfire swept through the area. The top undated image provided by Google Earth shows the area before the fire. (Google Earth (top), California Highway Patrol Golden Gate Division (bottom) via AP)
Jeff Chiu, The Associated Press
Mary Caughey, center in blue, reacts with her son Harrison, left, after finding her wedding ring in debris at her home destroyed by fires in Kenwood, Calif., Tuesday, Oct. 10, 2017.
David McNew, Getty Images
SANTA ROSA, CA - OCTOBER 10: A chicken that survived a firestorm in the area of Foxtail Court stands in its scorched cage, on October 10, 2017 in Santa Rosa, California. In one of the worst wildfires in state history, at least 1,500 homes have burned and 11 people have died as more than 14 wildfires continue to spread in eight Northern California counties. (Photo by David McNew/Getty Images)
David McNew, Getty Images
A neighborhood is destroyed by fire in the area of Foxtail Court, on Oct. 10, 2017 in Santa Rosa, California. In one of the worst wildfires in state history, at least 1,500 homes have burned and 11 people have died as more than 14 wildfires continue to spread in eight Northern California counties.
Justin Sullivan, Getty Images
Smoke billows from a neighborhood that was destroyed by a fast moving wild fire on Oct. 9, 2017 in Santa Rosa, California. Ten people have died in wildfires that have burned tens of thousands of acres and destroyed over 1,500 homes and businesses in several Northen California counties.
David McNew, Getty Images
A neighborhood is destroyed by fire in the area of Foxtail Court, on Oct. 10, 2017 in Santa Rosa, California. In one of the worst wildfires in state history, at least 1,500 homes have burned and 11 people have died as more than 14 wildfires continue to spread in eight Northern California counties.
David McNew, Getty Images
A neighborhood is destroyed by fire in the area of Foxtail Court, on Oct. 10, 2017 in Santa Rosa, California. In one of the worst wildfires in state history, at least 1,500 homes have burned and 11 people have died as more than 14 wildfires continue to spread in eight Northern California counties.
David McNew, Getty Images
A neighborhood is destroyed by fire in the area of Foxtail Court, on Oct. 10, 2017 in Santa Rosa, California. In one of the worst wildfires in state history, at least 1,500 homes have burned and 11 people have died as more than 14 wildfires continue to spread in eight Northern California counties.
Josh Edelson, AFP/Getty Images
A McDonald's restaurant is seen after burning down in Santa Rosa, California, on Oct. 10, 2017.
More than 1,500 structures have burned and at least 10 deaths have been reported as a result of multiple wind-driven fires that continue to ravage the area.
Robyn Beck, AFP/Getty Images
TOPSHOT - People watch water-dropping helicopters amidst smoke from the Canyon Fire 2, Oct. 9, 2017 in Orange, California.
Josh Edelson, AFP/Getty Images
Flames shoot out from a window as the Signorello Estate winery burns in the Napa wine region of California on Oct. 9, 2017.
More than a dozen fast-moving wildfires tearing through through California's wine country have killed at least 10 people, destroying hundreds of homes, authorities said on October 9.
Josh Edelson, AFP/Getty Images
The remains of an Arby's restaurant is seen after burning down in Santa Rosa, California, on Oct. 10, 2017.
Firefighters encouraged by weakening winds were battling 17 large wildfires on Tuesday in California which have left at least 13 people dead, thousands homeless and ravaged the state's famed wine country.
Josh Edelson, AFP/Getty Images
TOPSHOT - A burned home smolders in Glen Ellen, California on Oct. 9, 2017.
Multiple wind-driven fires continue to ravage the area burning structures and causing widespread evacuations.
Highlighting the concerns of mental health professionals, the California Psychological Association has emailed an urgent request calling for volunteers to help wildfire evacuees cope with the trauma they have faced and its aftermath.
“There is tremendous acute and long term impact and we are needed right now to help,” Dr. Chip Shreiber, the association’s disaster resource coordinator, said in the email sent Monday to a distribution list of 13,000 licensed psychologists across California. “Please get the word out.”
The fires that swept through parts of seven counties were the deadliest and most destructive series of blazes in in California history. At least 41 people were killed and 6,000 homes destroyed.
On Tuesday, authorities identified the only firefighter to die in the blazes as 38-year-old Garrett Paiz of Missouri. He was killed Monday when a water transport truck he was driving rolled over near one of the wildfires in the Napa Valley community of Oakville.
An estimated 100,000 people were evacuated at the height of the fires, and about 34,000 remain under evacuation. Many have yet to find out if their homes are still standing.
“There’s still a lot of shock and numbness when you’re in the middle of it. You’re in the high-gear of trying to cope,” said Peggy Ledner-Spaulding, head of outpatient behavior health services at St Joseph’s hospital in Santa Rosa, one of the cities hardest-hit by the fires. “But now we’re starting to enter into the next phase, as they have control over the fires. That shock and disbelief starts to wear out, and we have a lot of stress and anxiety and grief and worry.”
It’s common for survivors to feel a range of emotions — sadness, anger, irritability — and to suffer flashbacks or nightmares while having trouble sleeping, especially in a shelter surrounded by strangers.
Physical reactions from the stress can include stomach aches and headaches, but many evacuees are reporting headaches and sore throats from the thick smoke still cloaking the area.
Evacuees were advised to pace their exposure to news and media, which provide information that can reduce anxiety but also become overwhelming. Talking and debriefing is helpful, and parents should encourage children to talk and express their fears, Ledner-Spaulding said.
Sonoma County Supervisor Shirlee Zane has advised anyone with a family member or loved one who has lost everything to accept that they can’t fix the damage but they can offer support.
“Provide a compassionate listening ear right now, and let them feel whatever they’re feeling,” said Zane, a former grief therapist.
Still, life will change for those who must rebuild from nothing.
“It’s never going to be the same,” said Rob Brown, a supervisor in Mendocino County, where all 8,000 evacuees have been cleared to go home. “You’re going to have to seek a new normal.”
“You’ll see benefits within years,” Brown said. “But you’re literally in for decades of recovery.”
At the Petaluma shelter, signs advertised a stress management class and group. A welcome table at the medical clinic had handout literature from the American Psychological Association about dealing with the emotional toll of a disaster or traumatic event.
Michelle Patino, a nurse in Santa Rosa who volunteered at the shelter’s medical clinic, said she saw people who appeared to be experiencing mental breakdowns and a woman so despondent she threatened suicide.
“You have people who are emotionally displaced,” she said.
Lynn Bufka, a psychologist and an associate executive director at the Washington, D.C.-based American Psychological Association, said a sense of community can help with healing and recovery but that isn’t possible in some neighborhoods that vanished into ashes.
“The sense of community has burned to the ground as well,” Bufka said.
She advised evacuees to focus on the positives of what is left — family, friends, health. But as with war veterans, the symptoms of trauma or depression sometimes don’t surface for months or years, she said.
But keeping positive is hard when facing the reality of starting from scratch, said John De Groot, whose home in Santa Rosa burned down along with a lifetime of memories.
“You’re filled with anxiety in terms of what is going to happen,” said De Groot, who lined up at an assistance center for victims in Santa Rosa. “I’m not 22 anymore. We’ve worked our whole lives. We’ve had this house for 23 years. So there are a lot of memories there. Grandkids have been there. They love it. And it’s not there. So now what?”
Associated Press writers Ellen Knickmeyer in Sonoma, Terry Chea in Santa Rosa, Janie Har in San Francisco, Andrew Dalton and Christopher Weber in Los Angeles contributed to this report.